Facing Your Inner Demons

Demons. We all have them. The flaws, weaknesses, tragic events, or deep-seated fears, that keep us up at night. Of course, we spend most of our lives trying to ignore, suppress, or hide them, so that others won’t see them; so that others won’t see us the way we see ourselves.

This, of course, creates a problem. We spend so much time and energy on denial, that we are left exposed and unprepared for that fateful day when we will be forced to face our own inner demons.

A recent episode of This is Us explores this concept perfectly. Randall, who throughout most of the show, is the guy that has it all: an impressive job, an adoring family (complete with a wife, who is equal parts business partner and doting admirer), a big house in a nice neighborhood.  And he mostly seems to have it all together, except for those rare occasions where his anxiety creeps through and gets the better of him. 

Well, A Hell of a Week: Part 1, blew the lid off, and Randall’s inner demons came out. The episode itself pivots around the idea that Randall is traumatized after coming face to face with a home intruder in the middle of the night. And who wouldn’t be? Indeed, the intruder, armed and hooded and standing in the shadows, appeared very demon-like on the screen. This moment triggers nightmares for Randall, who then is tasked with the responsibility of making sure he can reestablish safety and security in his home after it has been compromised. That, in itself, would have made for a very interesting show. But that’s not really what the episode was about.

It was really about Randall’s inner demons. It was about the anxiety, which emerged in his younger years, that he has been suppressing throughout the show’s current run. It’s that voice inside that’s been telling him, “this isn’t good enough,” “you aren’t good enough,” and “there’s nothing anyone can do about it.” He faces the anxiety head-on for most of the episode, whether it’s the constant alerts from his new home security system or the applause he gets from his staff for attacking a man who was attempting to steal a woman’s purse. But, we soon discover that the anxiety isn’t the real demon. That role, it turns out, is reserved for Jack, the show’s real hero, who, coincidentally, is the cause of much of the drama throughout the show’s four seasons.  

What Randall really suffers from is the suppression of the heroic, but tragic, death of his father, Jack. That is when his nightmares truly started, and, now, with the home invasion, they have resurfaced and have taken a new form. But it is the insurmountable loss of a loved one, the episode’s deeper layer, that is the true connective tissue of the show. It’s the stuff of nightmares. It’s horrific, but it’s real. And it is what makes the show so great. It just hits home. It’s a real demon for many of us, the sort of thing that we all have buried inside, that could one day escape and invade our lives, much like the metaphorical home intruder on the episode.

Of course, creating a feeling of universal connectivity is a sign of great storytelling and the writers of This is Us are proving to be experts of the craft, weaving a really compelling narrative about the lives of siblings, who are trying their best to get by, despite the inner demons they have inside.

And, for the rest of us, it serves as a lesson to check ourselves, to make sure we are acknowledging our own inner demons, at least sometimes. To make sure we’ll be ready when our turn comes and we’ll have to face them ourselves.

By the way, if this topic resonates with you, there are some interesting articles over at Medium and Psychology Today about what it takes to acknowledge and overcome your own personal demons.

Of course, I’d love to hear what you think. Comment below to share your thoughts on this topic.

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